Pinpointing the project

I spent all yesterday desperately trying to pinpoint what I am trying to do with this work and how best to represent it in a scratch.

So far I have been really enjoying myself, having tea and chatting with some people around London, but that big 'so what' keeps cropping up for me. I have needed to think about moving the project on and to do that I need to understand exactly where my interest lies to push that aspect further. 

As I mentioned in a previous post Kira O'Reilly suggested that I try and embody people's stories by telling them as my own to see how it feels. This didn't work as it felt so awful to have lied to someone when they were really open and truthful with me. When discussing this problem in the VLP forum last week Doug made a really good suggestion that I simply frame it differently. If I don't pretend that I am telling the truth about me then it is not as deceitful. As I have previously mentioned, I was really looking forward to embodying different ages, classes, races and genders. Doug suggested that I make this a little more explicit in the same way that Tim Crouch does and state "I am a 40 year old man" - this will instantly allow the participant to know that the story is not my own. 

So, back to the 'so what'! Why do I feel compelled to want to do this so much? Yesterday Rich suggested a book for me by Grant Kester. I have actually been reading an essay by Kester in a different book but Rich's suggestion made me go back and pick it up again yesterday. Rereading the text I began to pick up on the theme of empathy and once again remembered my tutorial with Kira. It is what happens whilst relating to someone that interests me, how you tell stories to understand and how you have to have empathy to relate to someone's story.  I think that the following quote is the best summation of what I am aiming to do with my project,

"Rather than entering into communicative exchange with the goal of representing "self" through the advancement of already formed opinions and judgements , a connected knowledge is grounded in our capacity to identify with other people. It is through empathy that we learn literally to redefine self: to both know and feel our connectedness with others."

(G. Kester: Conversation Pieces The role of Dialogue in Socially-Engaged Art 1998)

Rather than representing my own opinions and beliefs in this project I think that I want to find a way to physically represent how I understand the exchanges, and maybe how the participants have understood the project. Maybe by telling the stories as my own this will enable me to see a way in. 

I have also been thinking a lot about the 'Emancipated Spectator' by Ranciere. It is a text that I am now using a lot in my dissertation - I am only just getting to grips with the bloody thing! Anyways, I have been thinking a lot about ways of knowing, community and difference. The thing that makes us equal is that we are all unequal, we are all different. I am never going to be a 40 year old man, so what is happening with the empathy there? 

I'm going to do Southbank Tea today... if the rain holds off! I am aiming to gather enough material to put something together for the scratch next week. I have decided on a plan of action but we'll see what comes out of today before I get any further.

I can't think of a title!

Just thought that I would write a quick blog before I pass out after only just getting in from work.

Just flicking around the net and came across this great sounding project called Brother's in Yarn
it is basically two men that are about to walk to London (from somewhere far away sounding), with no money, and telling stories along the way. They are raising money for charity and are professional story tellers. I think that this sounds like a great project!!

It feels to me as if narrative in a more traditional sense is making a bit of a come back at the moment. Practitioners and artists have been really wary about using linear narratives for a long time. It has just got me thinking about what is changing, and the value of story telling, as it is becoming a big part of my practice.

Also wanted to write how much I enjoyed Kira O'Reilly's talk and tutorial today. I found it really exciting to hear her talk about her own work. I have studied her practice for years - she even featured in my BA dissertation (not that I would tell her that hehe how sad would I sound!?). I couldn't get to see her work when I was at the NRLA, but it was so great for me to hear what she thought about her own work. I have only ever read what other people think about it!!

The tutorial was helpful. I am beginning to pin down why the project is interesting to me and where my focus is.

I am having tea in Soho Square tomorrow if all goes well. Am going to try a bench this time. Kira made a really good suggestion that I think I am going to try out. She suggested that I ask people to tell me a story about something that happened in their lives, then re-tell the story to the next person that sits with me as if it were my own. I am really excited about trying this out as I think that it will be a great way to generate script material and be more performative in itself.

I have been struggling with writing the initial script. However, after thinking on my tutorial, I have decided to write a small anecdote from my Grandma's life and tell it in first person. I am curious to see whether a theme will develop from the day, whether people will tell a similar story back to me and this will inform the next one and so on. You all know I love my identity politics so am really excited to see how it feels to tell a story in a different gender, age, class and try and own it - even if the words don't fit.


Fingers crossed for me I'm a bit nervous